I just realize

I just realize the one I care doesn't concern me anymore.
I just realize I made many friends around feel guilty about me. Feel so bad.
I just realize the things that I know ain't everything, they're just very small part.
I just realize I need to feel secure. Although I have enough of love.
I just realize I need to do something to relief my pain, but it will never be successful.
Can you tolerate with me? Just to make me feel satisfy once.
Everything in the universe won't go smoothly as you want.
You need to work hard for it, you need to go through the obstacles.
But I just can't do it. I don't know why.
I'm lost.